Beautiful Disasters
by xxAlicexSamxx
Summary: Supernatural AU Dean is a 22 year old business rep, Sam is an 18 year old drug addict. The brothers are struggling to keep their fragile world together. One day at work Dean meets a mysterious stranger who will change his and Sam's life forever. Destiel. Sam/OC
1. Chapter 1

It was too early for this in Dean's opinion. A meeting at six in the morning? His company was getting ridiculous with its hours. Sighing he pushed open the door to the bathroom. Some cool water on his face might wake him up.

To his surprise a man was at one of the sinks. His clothes were covered in dirt, his shoes were worn thin. His black hair was dripping water. He must've snuck in here to take a shower. The man was so wrapped up in brushing his teeth he didn't even notice Dean walk in.

"Whoa" he breathed.

The man whirled around. His blue eyes were wide with shock. Tears instantly filled those gorgeous globes when he saw Dean. He dropped the toothbrush backing away.

"I'm going please...please don't call the police" he stammered "I'm sorry I'm going"

Dean watched him scramble for his stuff dumbfounded. This poor man really thought he was gonna call the cops for wanting a hot shower and a place to brush his teeth? The man stuffed his personal items in an old knapsack and headed for the door. Dean grabbed his arm eliciting a strange reaction. He stood there shaking as if waiting for Dean to hit him.

Scared the man shrugged out of his coat and ran off. Dean stood in the doorway of the bathroom holding the mans ragged coat wondering what just happened. Unfortunately one of his coworkers Gabriel shoved his way into the bathroom.

"Hey Winchester what are you doing just standing here staring at the wall?"

"Oh nothing I was trying to get some stains out of my jacket" Dean replied holding up the coat.

"Looks like a lost cause. See you in the conference room" Gabe said.

"Yeah" Dean mused.

At nine Dean finally donned his jacket and headed out the door. He had the homeless man's coat stuffed in his bag. The whole encounter had left him frazzled. He gunned the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. He was halfway home when his phone starting ringing.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Yes is this Dean Winchester?"

"Yes who is this?" Dean asked.

"I'm Officer Johnson. I picked up a Sam Winchester. He was caught buying cocaine off of a local dealer." Johnson said.

"Goddammit. I'll be right there officer" Dean said.

Cursing he turned around heading for the local precinct. Ever since their mother died giving birth to Sam their father had made it his life's goal to make Sam's miserable. After his death Sam turned to drugs to cope with his feelings of inadequacy. Dean had on multiple occasions found him high as a kite after work.

Officer Johnson was waiting for him with a very bruised Sam. Dean shook his head ashamed. Sam kept his eyes glued to the floor. The officer removed the handcuffs from Sam and passed him off to Dean.

"I'm sorry officer it won't happen again" Dean promised.

"Normally I wouldn't do this but seeing as you two are all that you have I'm gonna let him off with a warning next time though he's going to jail understand?" he asked.

"Yes we do thank you so much" Dean said.

He led his tweaking brother out of the station and towards the Impala. Sam slid in the passenger seat averting Dean's gaze. He fiddled with the radio avoiding the inevitable.

"When is this gonna stop Sammy?" Dean asked.

"When's what gonna stop?" Sam asked.

"This, the drugs, the abusive relationships? I don't want to come home from work one day and find you dead Sam" Dean pleaded.

"Nothing's wrong with me Dean" Sam snapped "And I don't have abusive relationships"

"Oh yeah? What about Jess and the time she threw you down the stairs? And Amelia and when she gave you three busted ribs and a concussion? And more recently Ruby and the busted jaw and arm? Don't tell me you don't have abusive relationships Sam" Dean snapped back.

"Whatever Dean it's over I dumped Ruby. And I'm eighteen you can't tell me how to live my life" Sam said.

"I'm your brother and I'm not gonna sit by and let you kill yourself!" Dean shouted.

Sam bowed his head letting tears fall silently into his lap. He absentmindedly scratched at the track marks on his arms. Dean was right he was a mess. At one point in time he had everything going for himself. Now he'd be lucky if he could get into a college.

Dean killed engine and unlocked the door to their apartment. Sam followed obediently. Dean threw the stranger's jacket in the wash before heading into the kitchen. He popped a couple of TV dinners into the microwave. Sighing he sat down at the table with a bottle of Jack. Sam came in carrying the mail.

"Damn Becky won't stop sending me letters. Doesn't she know no means no? The rent's also due soon." Sam muttered.

"I know I know Sammy I'm trying I really am. It's just really hard. I have to worry about the house, my job, you, I can barely get a good night's sleep anymore I'm so worried." Dean sighed.

He took a huge swallow from the bottle and took the mail from Sam. It was nothing but bills. Flipping through the first couple he realized it was nothing but TV dinners for the next couple of weeks again. Sighing Dean dropped his head on the table and began to cry.

"Dean, Dean please don't cry. It's gonna be okay"

"No it's not Sammy it's not. We're gonna lose the apartment. I can't afford all these bills." Dean sobbed.

"I'll help I promise I'll get clean I'll get a job just please don't cry" Sam begged.

"No Sam you focus on school I'll figure something out. I'll go to grandpa if I have to" Dean said.

"But, Dean"

"But nothing Sammy I'm your big brother and I'm gonna take care of you. I promised mom I would. Go to sleep Sam it'll all be better in the morning" Dean promised.

Reluctantly Sam took his TV dinner and trudged to his room. He could hear Dean on the phone with their grandfather. Tears welled up in his eyes at the sounds of his brothers pleas.

"Please I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't desperate. Please think of mom she wouldn't want us on the streets. Please we're really in the hole. Please" Dean begged.

Sam sat there crying into his frozen meal. He was part of the reason they were in so much trouble. Him and his addiction. Dean would be better off without him. He rummaged around his sock drawer for his last hit of coke. He tied the cord mid bicep while he heated up the coke. He injected himself and felt the instant relief of the high. All the bad things disappeared. Sam could still hear Dean's pleas and made up his mind.

He emptied his old backpack and filled it up with random pieces of clothing. He grabbed his last twenty and stuffed it in his pocket. He scrawled a quick note to Dean telling him he didn't have to worry anymore. He crawled out the window and headed down the street.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Warning: Mentions of child abuse **_

Panicked Sam took off in a sprint. Too concerned with trying to figure out where he was he ran straight into a drug dealer. Sam fell to the ground with a groan. The man turned towards him with an awful smirk on his face.

"Well well boys look what we have here. Fresh meat" he sneered.

Sam backed away frightened into a dumpster trapping himself. The man and his gang closed in on the terrified teen. The man yanked him up to his face. He was about to bust his jaw when a female voice stopped him.

"Hey Raphael leave him alone!"

The man, Raphael, turned to glare at the girl. She was dressed in an old pair of jeans and a faded jacket. Her black hair spilled past her shoulders in a tangled mess. Sam saw her grey eyes glinting in the darkness. Raphael smirked. He dropped Sam and stalked over to her.

"If it isn't the littlest Novak. Where's your brother? Too afraid to come out anymore?" Raphael crooned.

He caressed her cheek. She shrugged him off disgusted. The rest of Raphael's group started to back away uneasily. The girl was radiating a strange sort of energy. Sam felt it too. He watched from his vantage point as Raphael pressed himself up against her.

She locked eyes with Sam for a moment. He saw a wicked glint flash across them before she nodded. Somehow understanding what she was planning he nodded back. He carefully pulled himself off the ground and inched towards her.

Raphael was so caught up in trying to fuck her that he didn't notice what they were doing. Raphael's group had all but abandoned their leader. With a well-placed knee to the groin the girl sent Raphael sprawling to the ground.

"Run" she commanded.

She grabbed Sam's hand and pulled him down the alley. She led him through the maze-like streets with practiced accuracy. Finally she stopped letting Sam catch his breath. It had been two years since he'd last run like that. Once he recovered she led him down a few more back alleys at a more reasonable pace. She kicked in the door to an abandoned building and pulled him in.

"This is where me and my brother live" she explained.

Sam could dimly see a fire going in a corner. He followed the girl back to find a small campsite. Tending to the fire was a worn looking young man. His black hair was almost as long as his. He was clad in a T-shirt and faded jeans like his sister. He looked up from the fire at the newcomer with startlingly blue eyes.

"Really Alice?" he asked.

"What? Raphael was giving him a hard time" she said.

He patted to the ground next to him. Sam sat down next to him uneasily.

"Castiel. But my friends call me Cas" he said.

"I'm Sam"

"Nice to meet you Sam" Cas said.

"So what're you doing on the streets?" Alice asked.

"What'd you mean?" Sam said.

"Obviously you're not homeless so what's your story?"

"Oh, I ran away from home" he said sadly.

"Why?" Cas inquired.

"My brother can't pay for our apartment. It's my fault actually. I keep taking money to pay for coke." Sam admitted. "It's better for him if I stay gone"

"What happened?" Alice asked.

"What'd mean?"

"You didn't start shooting up for no reason so spill"

"My mom died giving birth to me. It tore my father apart. I was completely unplanned. Dad didn't even want me but mom insisted. After her death he kind of lost it. He started drinking heavily. Dean had to raise me. It wasn't until I was five and Dean was so absorbed in school that he started abusing me. At first it was just verbal. He'd call me worthless and stupid, say I wasn't worth my mother's life, that I should've died instead of her. When I turned thirteen he started beating me. He made me do all of the house work. Told me I didn't deserve an education. Dean had secretly enrolled me in school online. I barely graduated high school. When Dean went to college the abuse got worse. He started breaking bones. I can't tell you how many of my breaks are improperly healed. When I was sixteen he dragged me in the car with him to go see a 'friend'. I was terrified. I had heard him talking on the phone to someone about how much a sixteen year old sex slave paid. I begged him not to sell me. He was drunk and looked away from the road. We crashed headfirst into a semi. He died on impact. I had a broken leg and internal bleeding. I was so scared I was going to die. I didn't but ever since that night I've been using. It makes me feel like I'm actually worth something. Something more than a useless sex slave. I'm obviously not. I mean I've had three relationships and all three of them abused me" Sam sniffled. "I figured Dean would be better off without me anyway."

Alice wrapped an arm around his shoulder pulling him into a hug. Sam sobbed hoarsely into her coat. Until now he had never told anyone why he was really in the car that night. He was too ashamed. But being here with these two homeless siblings who had nothing but each other made him feel safe, loved. He never had anyone to talk to before, Dean had always been too busy to talk.

"Let's get you home your brother is probably worried sick" Cas said.

"How do you know?" Sam snapped.

"Because if my little sister vanished into thin air I would be terrified" he replied coolly.

"I'm sorry" Sam whispered.

Castiel shook him off smiling. Alice helped the sniffling teen to his feet. The three of them exited the building and headed towards the main road. Once he was able to get his bearings Sam pointed the way out to his apartment.

He was rapidly coming down from his high and had to rely heavily on Alice's shoulder. She bore his weight without complaint. The whole world was spinning around him. All Sam wanted was another fix. Just to take the edge off. Flashing red and blue lights brought him back to reality.

The cops where at his house. Shit he was high. He remembered what the officer had said. One more time and he was in jail. Alice shifted him to the ground. She slapped his face gently bringing him around.

"Hey, hey Sam wake up" she murmured. "Look the cops are at the door. I'm gonna give you a little cut on your head. It shouldn't hurt too much, like a prick but it'll bleed like no other. Okay?"

"Mhmm" he slurred.

He dimly watched as she pulled out a pocket knife. He felt a small prick of pain followed by the warm flow of blood. He clumsily reached a hand up smearing on his face. Bright red coated his fingers. He blinked at it stupidly.

Alice hoisted him back to his feet. They staggered to the door. Dean was in the doorway talking frantically to an officer. He kept pushing a hand nervously through his hair. When he saw Sam he let out a relieved sigh. Pushing past the officer he embraced his baby brother crying.

"Oh Sammy I was so worried please please don't run away ever again please" he begged.

Sam meekly clung to him feeling tears well up. Dean was beside himself for him being gone an hour. An hour. Sam mentally slapped himself thinking how selfish he was. He could vaguely hear Dean asking him what happened. It was Alice who jumped to his rescue.

"A couple of dealers jumped him. He got roughed up a little bit there wasn't too much damage. It looks worse than it actually is" she explained.

Dean babbled his thanks as they led Sam into the house. Alice set him down gently on the couch as Dean showed the cops out. Castiel stood awkwardly in the doorway. He watched as his sister retrieved a first aid kit and cleaned the small cut on Sam's head. He was barely conscious.

"Come on Cas I'm pretty sure Dean doesn't bite" she teased.

Cas hesitantly sat down in an armchair opposite the couch. He tapped his foot uncomfortably. Dean was rummaging in the kitchen for some extra glasses. The smell of fresh coffee filled the small living room. He came into view balancing four cups of steaming coffee. Cas immediately stood up and retrieved two from his hands.

"Thanks, coffee's one of the only things that'll snap him out of a...hey I know you"

"I'm sorry?" Castiel asked confused.

"You're that guy from the bathroom" Dean said dumbly.

Alice sniggered from the couch.

"Giving head in the stalls Cas?"

"No no no no I mean from work. You were the guy that ran out without your coat. You thought I was going to call the cops on you" Dean explained.

Cas uneasily shifted. He stared at his feet ashamed. Dean set the other two cups on the table and walked back into the kitchen. Cas stared desperately at Alice pleading for her to let him leave. Dean came back moments later with his newly cleaned coat clutched in his grip.

"I washed it for you. I was hoping you'd be back at work when I got in tomorrow I was gonna give it to you"

He scratched the back of his neck nervously. Castiel took the coat from his hands astonished. Nobody had ever been this kind to him, only his sister. He managed to stutter out a thank you before slouching back into the chair blushing. Dean smiled and handed him a cup. Alice took one and placed it gently in Sam's hands. He sat up and sipped it obediently. Dean nodded to Castiel.

"Go on its good I promise"

He took a hesitant sip enjoying the warmth as it trailed down his throat. He shot a polite smile at Dean before he all but disappeared behind the glass. Dean sat down at Sam's feet and took a long drag from his. He analyzed the two newcomers carefully.

"Thanks for finding Sammy" he said.

"It was no big deal" Alice said "He was in trouble so I helped. It's what good people do"

"Not too many of those in the world" Dean said.

"You can say that again" Cas mumbled.

"How'd you two end up in the street?" Dean asked cautiously.

"Oh, that well dad died when we were young and mom kind of gambled and drank away every penny he left us." Cas said.

They sat in silence for a moment as Dean absorbed this information. Castiel wasn't so much different than him. He had a younger sibling who depended on him too. They were both struggling to keep their only living family alive. Dean felt a sort of bond to this stranger. Before he could stop himself he blurted out a suggestion.

"Why don't you two stay here with me and Sam?"

Both Alice and Cas stared at him as though he had grown a second head. Sam awoke from his stupor drunkenly. He had heard Dean's proposition and was waiting impatiently for an answer. Castiel exchanged a nervous glance with his sister. Alice's eyes were gleaming with hope. She silently begged Castiel to agree.

"Okay" he whispered.

Alice let out a very girly squeal of excitement. She threw her arms around her brother. Cas laughed at her childish behavior and returned the hug. Dean beamed at the two. This is what would really help Sam kick his habit. A real family, where everyone loves and accepts him. He held up his hand to silence their chatter.

"Okay, okay look it's really late and I have to be up early for work. It's gonna be tight quarters but I'm pretty sure there's enough room here for four of us. Alice you can take my room it's not much but..."

"No way I'm not taking your space" she countered.

"It's no big deal really" Dean said.

"I'm not taking your space" she repeated firmly.

"Dean...she's not gonna listen" Sam mumbled. "She can stay in my room"

"Oh no I'm not taking your room either" Alice snapped.

"How about we share huh? Is sharing so bad?" Sam asked wearily.

"Fine" she huffed.

"No dice I don't trust you Sammy" Dean said.

"You're such a hypocrite. I'm still a virgin you jackass and I'm not going to try anything" Sam growled.

A tense silence filled the room as Dean contemplated Sam's words carefully. Alice started as she felt Sam's warm hand slip into hers. She smiled warmly at him. He was exhausted, she could read it all over his face.

"Okay fine you two can share. Castiel do you want to stay out here, on the couch, or do you want to share with me?" Dean asked.

"Please if we are residing in the same house together call me Cas. And if it is not too much of a bother I would very much like to share your room" Cas replied.

A small smile graced Dean's face.

"Of course I'm fine with it. Alright let's get to bed. Sam you're about to drop. Alice you are NOT allowed to let him out of the house for anything" Dean stressed.

"No problem I can do that" she promised.

She hoisted Sam to his feet and managed to half drag half walk him to his room. Sam collapsed on the bed exhausted. Coming down had really hit him hard this time. He saw Alice looking at him with a smirk. Reluctantly he pushed himself off the bed. He rummaged through his drawers search for something that might fit her. He extracted a pair of old sweats and a plaid button up.

"It's not much" he mumbled. "But it's better than sleeping in your jeans again."

Alice accepted them gratefully. Without warning she began to strip off her clothes in front of him. Sam couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Underneath the dirt and grim was a beautiful woman. Her body was lean and lithe, every inch pure muscle. Her skin was a tiny bit tan. A bright red blush spread across his cheeks. Sure he'd watched his ex's change but he never truly felt sexually attracted to any of them. But sitting here watching this stranger change had heat pooling down in his abdomen.

He quickly tucked himself under the covers to hide his growing erection. Alice looked at him quizzically. Once she was dressed she stood in the middle of his messy room looking lost. She looked at Sam utterly confused. Smiling wearily he patted the spot next to him. Hesitantly she climbed in next to him. Once she was settled Sam rolled over and tucked her against his chest. Alice sighed happily nuzzling against him. Sam's heart fluttered. Exhausted he gave in to sleeps sweet embrace with the warm weight of someone that cared pressed to his chest.

**Thanks for the read, I'd really appreciate it if you told me what you think. The more reviews the sooner the next chapter will be up.**


	3. Chapter 3

**No real warnings except Sam has some serious detox issues. **

The next morning Dean woke the kids up at six a.m. Sam groggily rolled out of bed. His head was pounding from last night. He followed Alice to the kitchen where Cas was busy cooking. Dean looked at him confused.

"You're cooking?" he asked.

"It's the least I can do to show my thanks" he replied blushing.

Dean smiled sharing a private moment with Cas. Sam and Alice shifted uncomfortably. Dean set the table oblivious of his brother's questioning stare. Cas filled everyone's plate with bacon and scrambled eggs. Sam pushed the food around without eating. His stomach was doing backflips threatening to send his dinner back up. Dean glared at him. Reluctantly Sam forced himself to eat a few bits, barely tasting the food, before he had to run to the bathroom. From the kitchen they could hear Sam violently retching. Alice excused herself to go check on him.

Dean stared at his food with tears forming in his eyes. Cas patted his shoulder. Green eyes met blue ones for a surprisingly intimate moment. Cas stood up and cleared the table quietly. Checking the clock Dean realized he was going to be late.

"Shit" he murmured.

He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

"Dean wait" Cas called.

He met Dean at the door. He handed Dean a brown paper bag. Inside was a turkey sandwich, an apple, and a small bag of chips. Dean looked up at Cas dumbfounded.

"Cas what?"

"I figured you might want lunch later" Cas blushed. "It's nothing really"

Dean embraced him laughing. Cas returned the hug, feeling his heart flutter.

"Thanks buddy. I'll see you when I get home" he said.

"Can you bring home a paper? I want to try and find a job" Cas said.

"Let me make a phone call and I'll get back to you at lunch" Dean replied.

Cas cocked his head to the side confused. Dean laughed again, patting Cas on the back. He waved goodbye sliding into the driver's seat. Cas watched until the Impala disappeared around the corner. Once he was gone Cas returned to the kitchen to do the dishes. He could hear Sam dry heaving in the bathroom. He dropped the sponge into the sink and walked down the hallway.

Sam was bent over the bowl moaning in pain. Alice was sitting next to him rubbing his back. She had a rag draped over his neck. She met her brother's eyes and shook her head. Cas took the hint and exited the room.

He had just finished the dishes when he finally heard the toilet flush. He waited for Sam to appear in the living room. To his surprise only Alice came into the kitchen sighing.

"Is Sam okay?" he asked.

"He's okay. He pretty much exhausted himself. I helped him to bed. He's taking a nap" Alice replied.

She ran a hand through her matted hair. Her hands were shaking terribly. Cas rummaged around the cabinet for Dean's bottle of Jack. He poured her a cup of coffee adding a shot of whiskey. Alice accepted it gratefully. She drained it quickly.

"Why don't you take a shower?" Cas asked.

"What if Sam wakes up?"

"I'll watch him. Go, you need it."

"You saying I stink?" Alice teased.

Cas pinched his nose in mock disgust, waving a hand in front of his face. Alice gently punched his shoulder, laughing. It wasn't long before he heard the water running. His sister's slightly off key singing floated through the apartment. Cas finished the kitchen and had moved to the living room when the phone rang. Checking the clock Cas realized it was almost noon. Expecting it to be Dean he answered.

It turned out to be a slightly scary sounding girl named Becky. She was looking for Sam. Cas politely told her that he was not here and hung up. Alice remerged from the bathroom moments later soaking wet. He heard her walk down the hallway to check on Sam. Cas laid down on the couch closing his eyes with every intention of napping for a few minutes.

When he woke up it was almost five and the phone was ringing. He stumbled into the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello?" he mumbled.

"Hey, Cas sorry I'm calling so late Gabe wouldn't get off my ass. I just wanted to let you know that I'm gonna be a little late tonight"

"That is okay Dean I am sorry I must've fallen asleep" Cas replied.

"No biggie how's Sammy?"

"He went to sleep soon after you left"

"He's withdrawing. Hopefully he'll sleep all night. He can be kind of a bitch when he's detoxing"

"He has detoxed before?" Cas asked.

"Once I kept him clean for about a month then he relapsed. I'm hoping this time it'll be permanent. Oh hey I gotta go. I'll see you at eight thirty"

"Goodbye Dean"

"Bye Cas"

He hung up the phone wondering just how Sam was. He quietly snuck down the hallway. The door to Sam's room was slightly open. Peeking inside he found Sam and his sister fast asleep. Sam had Alice wedged gently against his chest. They both had small smiles on their faces. Smiling himself Cas gently closed the door. He went into his shared room with Dean and proceeded to clean. He found a framed photo of Dean and Sam when they were younger. Both of the brothers had huge smiles on their faces.

Cas placed the photo next to Dean's alarm clock. He cleaned the clothes off the floor and stuffed them in a clothes basket. Once he was certain that Dean would be pleased that it was clean enough he snuck back into Sam's room. He cleaned all the dirty clothes off the floor before heading back into the kitchen. He located a bottle of detergent under the sink. He carefully measured out the correct amount into the cap and poured it into the washer. He dumped the clothes into the warm water. Once that was done he rummaged around the freezer for something to cook for dinner.

He managed to extract a package of hamburgers and a bag of French fries. He busied himself with preparing dinner trying to pass the time. He kept throwing anxious glances at the clock. When the washer stopped Cas took a minute to put the clothes in the dryer. By then it was almost eighty thirty. Cas set the table nearly vibrating with excitement. When he heard the key turn in the lock Cas was at the door throwing his arms gleefully around Dean's neck. Dean dropped his briefcase laughing. He returned the hug happily.

"Hey Cas how was your day?"

"It was not eventful. I managed to get the kitchen, living room, and your room clean. I did the dishes and the laundry and dinner is on the table" Cas replied eagerly.

"Wow you did all that in one day? You're acting like a regular housewife" he teased.

Cas blushed violently and stared down at his feet. Dean patted him on the back before heading into the kitchen. He was shocked at how clean the place was. Every inch of the kitchen seemed to sparkle. Hamburgers and fries steamed lazily on the plates. Dean felt overwhelmed. Cas's kindness was helping Dean pull himself out of the dark pit he was in. He embraced Cas choking back a sob.

"Thanks Cas this means so much to me"

"It is my pleasure Dean. Why don't you go change and I will wake Sam and Alice"

Dean wiped the tears from his eyes and headed into the bedroom. He could hear Cas trying to wake Sam up. He laughed at the grumpy response his brother shot. Dean turned to his dresser and caught sight of the picture on his nightstand. He picked it up feeling tears in his eyes. This was the last time Sam had been happy and clean. They had been at their Uncle Bobby's cabin.

"Dean?" Cas asked.

"Uh I'm coming sorry"

He quickly wiped his eyes and threw on a pair of sweats. The others were patiently waiting at the table. Sam was wrapped up in a huge blanket shivering. He smiled very wearily at his brother. Dean sat next to him and dug in to his dinner.

**Hey guys, thanks for reading, I'd really ****_really _****appreciate it if you'd give me a review and let me know what you think. Your reviews let me know that (a) you like what you're reading and (b) that someone's actually reading this and I'm not just wasting my time. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hey guys I'd really appreciate it if you would take like 60 seconds to tell me what you think about this fic. I just wanna know I'm not wasting my time with this._**

It was almost eleven when Dean finally got the chance to call Bobby. The grumpy old mechanic answered the phone reluctantly.

"What'd want boy?" he asked gruffly.

"Hey Bobby do you still need that extra set of hands at the shop?" Dean asked.

"Dean ya know I love you boys but until that boy is straight and clean I can't even have Sam step foot in the shop" Bobby replied.

"I know Bobby I'm working on that. I actually have a friend that's looking for a job and was wondering if you wanted his help" Dean said.

"What kind of a friend?" Bobby asked skeptically.

"He's like me Bobby. He's got a little sister Sam's age. She's helping him get clean. He's really eager to work"

"Bring him down this weekend. I miss you boys. I hope Sam gets straight. I'm afraid next time he falls off the wagon we won't get him back again"

"Thanks Bobby. Really, sometimes I wish you had been our dad. Maybe Sammy wouldn't be suffering so much" Dean mused. "I'll see you this weekend"

He hung up the phone sighing. He'd meant what he said. Their dad had ruined Sam's life. Dean couldn't help but think if Bobby had been there for him Sammy would be okay. Dean headed down the hallway to his brother's room. Sam was sitting on the bed shaking horribly. Alice had placed an ice bucket next to the nightstand in case he got sick and couldn't make it to the bathroom.

The bed sagged sadly as Dean added his weight. Sam glared up at him through his tent. Dean pressed his hand to his brother's forehead. The heat radiating from his skin was worrying. Sam smacked his hand away angrily.

"Sammy you're burning up"

"I'm fucking freezing Dean" he snapped.

"How many layers are you even wearing?" Dean asked.

"Four but I'm still freezing my ass off. Not like you care" Sam spat.

"Of course I care"

"Then why are you making me do this you bastard? I need another hit. I need it Dean" Sam begged.

"We've been through this before Sam you promised to get clean. Cold turkey. That's what you said. I'm not gonna let you ruin your life" Dean said.

"What do you care?" Sam spat. "You didn't do anything when dad started beating me. You pretended everything was peachy keen. You didn't even try to stop him. You just left me. He was going to sell me off to one of his perverted friends."

Dean stared at his brother in horror. Sam had never told him why their father had dragged him into the car that fateful night. Tears leaked silently down his cheeks. He couldn't believe that Sam had kept so much locked up. He took Sam's hands in his own. He watched Sam's sleeves slip up and reveal puckered pink scars.

"S-Sammy what, what're these?"

"What the fuck do they look like Dean?" Sam snapped.

"You, you've been cutting yourself?"

"Yeah, it helps take the pain away. Since I can't have coke this is all I have left"

Dean choked on a sob. Sam looked at him utterly confused. Dean shouldn't be crying. Shouldn't be feeling bad for him. He was useless. A stupid waste. He deserved everything he got from his father and more.

"De" he mumbled.

He collapsed in his brother's lap. Alarmed Dean pressed his palm to Sam's cheek. A small fire seemed to be burning in his baby brother. He hoisted his gangly brother off the bed and into the bathroom.

"Alice, Cas" he cried desperately.

Both siblings rushed into the small room. Alice took one look at Sam's ashen face and seized control of the situation. She turned on the cold taps and began to fill up the tub.

"Cas go get the ice bucket and fill it up. He's overheated. We need to get his body temperature down. Dean get his clothes off." she commanded.

Cas headed into the kitchen to do his duty. Dean had finished stripping off the last sticky layer of Sam's clothing when he returned with a full bucket. Alice dumped it into the frigid water and helped Dean get Sam into the tub. Cas retreated into the kitchen to get more ice. Sam's overheated body was rapidly melting the ice and warming up the water. Dean hovered over him sobbing.

"Dean I know you're concerned but you're hovering and it's annoying. Why don't you go help Cas?" Alice suggested.

Reluctantly Dean left the room still crying. Alice turned her attention back to Sam. She pressed her palm against his forehead. He was still burning up. Reluctantly she pushed his head under the rapidly warming water. In an instant he shot back up coughing and sputtering. Alice shoved a thermometer in his mouth impatiently. It read 102.2. It was still too high for Alice's liking.

She carefully helped Sam out of the tub. He stumbled into her arms awkwardly. It took him a minute to realize that he had his naked body pressed up against her. He tried to push himself away and only succeeded to nearly fall into the tub. Alice halted his fall and helped him gain his footing. He was blushing madly.

"'M sorry" he mumbled.

"For what?" she asked.

He wearily waved his arm down his naked body. She laughed as she wrapped him in a towel.

"It's no big deal Sam. Trust me being on the streets for as long as I have people have flashed you more times than you can count" Alice explained.

She helped him into his sweats before guiding him back to his room. Once he was all settled down Alice turned off the light. She was almost out the door when Sam's weak voice quietly pleaded.

"Please, don't go"

The bed creaked as she slipped under the covers next to him. He wound his arms around her waist and buried his aching head into her hair. A soft sigh escaped his lips. There was still the intense burning pain of need, but it was, for the moment, dulled by the feeling of happiness. The first real instance of happiness Sam had felt in a long time. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head before slowly drifting off into a restless sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Warning mentions of non-con_**

_He was in the car again. He was always in the car when this happened. The upholstery reeked of Jack Daniels. His left hand was cuffed to the gear shift. It was rubbing away the skin on his wrist. He tugged at it, testing its strength. A sharp slap upside the head had him reeling forward. It was him. It was always him. He was downing another bottle of booze. The car was swerving violently. _

_"__Please" he heard himself say "Please don't. Please I'll do better"_

_Another sharp slap, this one sending him into the dashboard. _

_"__You're nothing but a worthless piece a crap. I should'd just killed ya when I had the chance" he slurred._

_"__Please" he begged "Please I want Dean. I want my big brother"_

_He turned to face him, taking his eyes off the road. He was about to hit him again when a long blaring honk filled the night. He braced himself. He knew this would happen. This always happened. But, there was no crash. Instead he let out a curse and swerved back into his lane. He pulled the car to the side of the road. He yanked him out of the car and threw him to the ground. A harsh kick caught his ribs. He cried out in pain._

_"__You're trying to kill me you piece of shit" he yelled._

_Another kick caught the side of his head. Blood began to flow from the wound. Nails dug mercilessly into his hips. He was taking his pants off. He tried to struggle but all he got was another blow to the head. He felt something hard press up against him. _

_"__No! Please! No!" he shouted._

_"__I'm gonna teach you a lesson. I'm gonna make you bleed like a stuck pig"_

_"__No! No! Please….._

No! Stop! Please! Stop"

"SAM!"

He shot up in bed panting. He wasn't in the car or on the side of the road, he was in his room. Alice was on top of him nearly in tears. Dean and a very disoriented Cas were standing in the doorway. It was just a dream. A terrifyingly vivid one.

"Sammy are you okay?" Dean asked.

"It was just a nightmare" he replied wearily.

"Just a nightmare?! I've been trying to wake you up for ten minutes" Alice said.

Sam tenderly took her in his arms. He could feel her trembling. The feeling of happiness bubbled deep in his stomach. He looked into her tear-filled eyes and ever so slowly pressed his lips against hers. The happy feeling suddenly exploded into pure attraction.

Every nerve in his body was on fire. He had never felt like this before with anybody. It was intoxicating. The remnants of his nightmare disappeared at the feeling of Alice's soft lips pressed against his. It was Dean who killed the moment. He cleared his throat loudly causing Alice to start.

"Sammy, _are _you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine Dean, really" Sam replied.

"I can see that" Cas said "Just please remember she is my sister"

Sam blushed violently as he turned off the light. He settled back down in bed feeling worse than ever. Alice was propped up on her elbows staring at him. He gently pulled her down onto the bed. He wrapped his arms around her and stared into her cool grey eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"You kissed me" she replied.

"I did" Sam said smiling.

"Why?"

"Well, I guess I like you" he shrugged "Maybe I even like you a lot"

"Really? Why?" she asked again.

"Maybe I might be attracted to you" Sam said "I might even go as far as to say I might love you"

"But, why? There's nothing special about me. I'm not pretty, or smart, or anything"

"Well I happen to think you're pretty damn special. I mean you've saved my ass more than once. And who knows you may be the only thing that stops me from sticking a needle back in my arm" Sam said. "Look Alice, when I'm with you I feel, well I don't know how I feel. I can't describe it. It feels like being high without the drugs. You make me feel like I'm not a bunch of broken pieces, I feel whole. And when we kissed. I felt happy for the first time in years. I mean I know I'm damaged goods but, can we at least give it a shot?"

"I-I'd really like that" Alice whispered.

He let out a sort of relieved laugh. He clumsily pressed his lips to hers. He felt her fingers tangle in his hair. She kissed him back with a surprising urgency, like at any moment he'd change his mind. After a moment they broke away for air. Sam placed a quick kiss on her lips before tucking her against his chest. Alice hummed happily. Within minutes he could hear her breath even out, signaling that she was asleep. Sam closed his eyes and tried to fall back to sleep. When he finally did he could just make out the sun creeping over the trees before succumbing to the darkness.

**A big thanks to Daydur, , and my anon reviewers! I would love love ****_love _****if more of you would tell me what you think! Remember the more reviews the faster the next chapter gets posted! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, I'm back! No real warnings this time around only vague mentions of child abuse.**

Alice woke up early the next morning. Sam's arm was wound tightly across her waist. She gently wiggled her way out of his grip. She threw on her jeans and one of Sam's shirts. Cas was fast asleep on the couch. The TV was still droning some boring crime show. She turned off the annoying TV show and reveled in the silence. Cas's steady breathing was the only sound in the room. Alice moved the clothes basket off the couch. She sat for a while and watched him sleep. He looked so happy and calm.

She couldn't remember the last time she saw Cas sleep like this. Out on the streets he was always up. He had to make sure that she stayed safe. He was always busy finding them food, shelter, clothing. Alice could only vaguely remember when Cas used to sit still. She was so young then. She could remember him drawing constantly by the window. He would spend hours on end hunched over his pad scribbling away. He used to play the piano too. Alice could distantly hear the melodic music floating throughout the house. They were so happy then.

Then their father died. Cas began to skip school to make sure Alice was safe. He eventually dropped out altogether. He spent his days and nights working at the local gas station to try and earn at least a little cash. Alice barely saw him when that happened. She had been in grade school then. She would stay up until well after midnight waiting for Cas to come home and help her with her homework. She'd fall asleep at her desk and find her homework filled out with a detailed sheet explaining how it was done. Cas would be in the kitchen making breakfast.

He would work himself until he couldn't push himself any further. On too many occasions Alice had come home to find him passed out in the kitchen or the bathroom. She began to notice him getting thinner and thinner. When they finally got kicked out onto the streets he weighed almost 90lbs. But no matter how hard she tried Cas wouldn't eat. He always made sure that she was fed. He always put Alice before himself.

For a short time the siblings got a second chance. A young woman and her wealthy husband had taken them in. They had treated the two of them like they were they're own children. Everything was going great. Alice could see an amazing improvement in Cas's health and in his general mood. He had even taken up piano again. Both siblings got their high school degrees. Cas was on his way to college when it started.

At first Alice didn't notice the subtle change in mood. Cas still smiled and laughed, they still stayed up past midnight talking. It wasn't until the music stopped that she finally caught on. All the late night showers and hidden laundry suddenly made sense. He denied at first, something Alice had anticipated. It wasn't until she confronted him with the evidence that Cas finally broke.

After his tearful confession they left. Alice had alerted the police, who promptly arrested him. The grueling trial lasted three months and left them back out on the street. That's when everything went back downhill. Cas's weight plummeted to an all-time low. When he finally fell asleep he had uncontrollable night terrors. He pulled farther and farther away from her until Alice thought she would never get him back. It wasn't until he came back from his shower that day they met Sam that Alice saw the hope return in his eyes.

She didn't know until later that it was Dean who put hope back into her brother. His kindness and love had jumpstarted something Alice hadn't seen in years. Cas was alive again and for that Alice could never repay Dean for giving her her brother back.

**Remember reviews make me happy and when I'm happy I post chpaters faster ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Warnings include mentions of non-con and drug use. **

_He was inside of him now. A burning intense pain engulfed his entire body. He was scratching and clawing at him. Blood fell to the sandy ground in sickening plops. He was crying, begging him to stop. All he did was laugh and push harder. He called him all sorts of obscene names. Whore, slut, worthless, deadweight. _

_Then it was Dean hurting him. Dean laughing at his pain and his tears. Dean ruthlessly pushing inside of him. Dean calling him a pathetic junkie, a useless sex object, not worth his time. It was Dean who was mercilessly clawing away his skin, revealing the hideous creature he really was. He was crying still, harder than ever. He was begging for Dean to stop. _

_And there was Alice, standing a few feet away watching. She looked disgusted, shaking her head. He cried out to her, asked her to please help to make it stop. She just stood there watching his suffering, almost reveling in it. He screamed for someone, anyone, to help him as Dean ripped through his body. He looked around and saw no one was there, no one was going to save him because, he wasn't worth saving. He quieted down and gave in, sinking into the darkest recesses of his mind._

He was back on the streets. Somehow in between consciousness he had climbed out the window. Sam was working on autopilot now, the nightmare he had had led him to let his body take over. He had sunk into a portion of his mind where no one could touch him. He mindlessly wandered throughout the streets looking for the only thing that could numb the pain he felt.

"Hey, kid! You look like you could use a pick me up"

It was Raphael, he didn't recognize Sam. He blinked stupidly at him. The sleazy dealer stuffed a packet of coke in his palm. Sam took it absentmindedly and went home. He habitually poured the contents of the bag into the metal dish and began to heat it up. Once it liquefied he filled the syringe up. Not even bothering with the cord Sam injected the whole dose into his arm. Within seconds the high he always craved washed over him in a tidal wave. 

Everything suddenly became numb. He no longer felt the pain of worthlessness. He let out a long breathy laugh. He was happy. The coke washed away every bad thing that ever happened to him. His whole body was vibrating, his breath coming out in jerky gasps. And then, he didn't feel good anymore. His heart began beating erratically causing his chest to hurt. His body seemed to erupt in flames. He attempted to call out for help and only succeeded in vomiting all over the carpet.

Sam instantly began to panic. The pain in his chest intensified causing his eyes to blur. He stumbled off the bed and knocked over his lamp sending it crashing to the ground. His knees gave out after the first couple of steps and he collapsed to the floor moaning in pain. The world took on a sort of misty tone leading Sam to believe that he was, in fact, dying. As a moment of clarity pierced through the fog of his high, he realized how stupid he was. He sank into the darkness praying someone, anyone, would come check on him.


End file.
